


it’s in the blowing wind, it’s spreading inside of us (this is love)

by smilejun (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Swearing, dojae if u squint - Freeform, hyuck is big dumb, i didn't even ship renhyuck until i started writing, i got inspo for this while reading norenmin, i think it's fluff...., my vocabulary is the size of renjun's toenail, nomin if u use a microscope, the end is kinda fluff but the rest of it is just (???), this entire thing is so messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 11:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21337498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/smilejun
Summary: Renjun and Donghyuck are more than friends but less than lovers.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 19
Kudos: 185





	it’s in the blowing wind, it’s spreading inside of us (this is love)

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from spring love by eric nam and wendy!

Every Wednesday, Renjun tastes like peppermint lattes and raspberry cream (it’s winter, so he might as well, he’d always say). Donghyuck had never particularly been a fan of peppermint _or_ raspberries, but on Renjun, it’s okay. On Renjun, maybe he even likes it. (A lot.)

Today is Wednesday.

Donghyuck kisses him hungrily, drunk on the feeling of Renjun’s mouth against his, nimble fingers tangled in his hair. He loves the way he fits so perfectly in his arms, the warmth of his skin, the way he smells faintly of cinnamon and vanilla.

He bites down hard on Renjun’s bottom lip, eliciting a breathy moan and the opportunity to slip his tongue inside the other’s mouth. The kiss is rough and sloppy but Renjun is digging his fingernails into the back of his neck and god-- Donghyuck is _gone,_ mind an endless haze of nothing but Huang Renjun.

Donghyuck is the first to pull away, but it’s only because he thinks that he genuinely might pass out if he doesn’t get any air. It’s silent as they catch their breaths, Donghyuck suddenly hyper aware of how close the two of them are. Too close. He feels something squeeze deep inside his chest.

“Injunnie,” he murmurs.

Renjun hums in acknowledgement, looking up at him with lidded eyes. Donghyuck finds his gaze trailing down to Renjun’s lips, fierce red colour a courtesy of none other than Donghyuck himself. His bleary mind can only barely register how much he likes the thought.

“Has anyone ever told you,” he speaks slowly, as if he’s taking the time to process each and every word before it forms on his tongue (he isn’t. The only thing that’s entering his brain is the taste of peppermint, lingering in his mouth), “that you’re a really good kisser?”

Renjun deadpans. “Yeah. Your mum.”

Donghyuck’s eyes snap open in feigned shock, his hand leaving Renjun’s waist to cover his mouth. “Fuck you! My mum?” The shock melts away into a deadpan mirroring Renjun’s. “Jokes on you, bastard. I don’t have a mum.”

“That’s because you were born under a bridge.”

“You were born under the surface of the earth in the fiery depths of hell, fucking spawn of Satan.”

“I guess it’s safe to say I’m hotter than you.”

Donghyuck’s got half a mind to kiss him again, just to get him to _shut the fuck up_ when the door swings open, startling the pair into silence. The footsteps lead right in front of their stall, and Donghyuck wears a shit-eating grin at Renjun’s soulless expression as the guy uses the urinal. The unfortunate problem with making out in the school bathroom, he supposes.

The person moves over to the sink to wash his hands and Donghyuck puts a light hand on the handle of the door so they can haul their asses out of there as soon as the guy leaves. The water stops, but he doesn’t move.

Donghyuck waits with bated breath for the sound of subsiding footsteps but even twenty seven seconds later (both of them were counting), it doesn’t come. Impatient, he peeks through the crack of the stall just briefly enough to see what the guy’s taking so long doing. What he’s doing, it seems, is checking himself out in the mirror, practicing numerous selfie poses and facial expressions.

When the guy finally leaves (one minute and fifty seconds later), it only takes one look at each other for them to dissolve into a fit of giggles.

When Donghyuck is asked where he wants to go out for lunch, he doesn’t say the new noodle place downtown because he knows Renjun works there. Of course he doesn’t, that would be ridiculous… but he still can’t help but sneak in glances about the restaurant as he and his friends are seated, secretly searching for the familiar head of dark hair.

As he surveys the room, the ‘cozy winter day’ aesthetic feels like it’s being slapped into his face. It’s in the light blue wallpaper, in the framed paintings of snow and more snow, the music that they probably pulled from a lofi ‘winter wonderland’ mix. He wonders what Renjun thinks of the paintings, wonders if Renjun’s ever tried painting anything like that. He concludes almost instantly that even if he hasn’t, he could still do it better.

Then he sees him. Donghyuck straightens his back to get a better look over the heads of the other diners, ignoring the way his heart soars. Then he realizes that guy is way too tall to be Renjun, and his heart dips again. He ditches the idea of being subtle and blatantly scans the restaurant, to no avail. Renjun is nowhere to be seen.

“Are you looking for the bathroom, Donghyuck?” Jaehyun quips.

“Yeah, I wanted to meet your family in there,” Donghyuck replies, as casually as he can muster, picking up his menu to cover up the disappointment on his face. Maybe Renjun’s shift ended already, he does remember him mentioning it ends around this time.

Doyoung glances up at him between flipping through his menu. He watches him for only a moment before he pulls his lips into a smirk. “You’re looking for someone, aren’t you?”

Donghyuck swallows thickly, training his gaze on his menu. “No.”

He doesn’t know why he’s so quick to deny it. Renjun is his best friend, it’s not weird to look for your best friend. He could just admit it and that would be the end of it. But it feels different somehow, like walking on a tightrope, and he hates both the red on his face and the anxiety in his stomach.

“Then why are you looking around like that?”

“No reason,” he replies, just a little too quickly.

Doyoung only hums before returning to choosing what to order. Donghyuck doesn’t miss the way the smirk remains on his face (what a dick), but chooses to ignore it, thankful that he’s letting the topic drop so quickly.

Jaehyun scans his menu, puffing out his cheeks the slightest bit when he can’t decide what to get. Donghyuck peeks over the top of his menu at them, watching as Jaehyun asks Doyoung what he thinks he should get. Doyoung leans closer to Jaehyun to look at his menu and points to something, not seeming to notice the way Jaehyun’s cheeks flush at the close proximity.

Donghyuck resists the urge to gag. “Why’d you guys even invite me?” He whines. “I’m just third wheeling!”

“What do you mean third wheeling?” Jaehyun pouts. “Is a guy inviting a couple of bros over for lunch such a crime?”

Doyoung freezes, glass of water just a couple of inches away from his mouth. “Did you just call me your ‘bro’?”

“That even hurt _me_,” Donghyuck whispers, clutching his chest.

“Wait, why am I being targeted—”

Jaehyun is saved by the click of the waiter’s pen. “Hello! Are you ready to order?”

Donghyuck looks up and immediately regrets it, feeling his throat go dry.

Yes, he’d been looking for Renjun, but he’d never actually been here before and he didn’t know what he was getting himself into. To say that Renjun looks good in his uniform would be a severe understatement, but Donghyuck finds himself unable to form a proper, coherent sentence, let alone think of a word that could do Renjun’s pleasant visuals even the slightest justice. His uniform is so neat. White dress shirt tucked into his pants, bowtie not even the slightest bit crooked, hair styled carefully and to perfection.

Renjun is pretty. Donghyuck knows this, anyone that has ever seen Renjun would also know this, it’s a simple fact. So, it’s okay to acknowledge him as an attractive person, he thinks, even if he’s not exactly attracted _to_ him. It’s okay to think that maybe the only flaw in Renjun’s uniform is that it’s too neat, it’s okay to think that maybe, he wants to mess it up a little bit. It’s okay to want to kiss him, because that’s the way their relationship is, even if there are no romantic feelings attached to it. 

“... Donghyuck, are you just going to keep staring, or?” It’s Jaehyun, and that’s when he realizes that they’ve both ordered, and now they’re all waiting on him to order something, but he’s just been gawking at Renjun the entire time. Fuck.

Renjun, the absolute asshat, doesn’t have the decency to even try hiding the amusement on his face. If he didn’t look so hot, Donghyuck would want to punch him.

“Beef,” he blurts out, very obviously reading off the first item he sees on the menu. “Udon. Beef udon.”

“... Right,” Renjun still has that infuriatingly smug grin on his face. “I’ll be right back with your food.”

Donghyuck is pretty sure that it’s illegal to look so smug at the expense of a customer, especially while looking so good doing so. He really wants to punch him now. A lightbulb goes off in his head.

“Wait, excuse me,” Donghyuck says just as Renjun’s about to walk away, pouring all the innocence he has into his voice, “can you show me the way to the bathroom?”

(Jaehyun chokes on his water and Doyoung’s eyebrows jump clean off his face.)

A slow smile makes its way onto Renjun’s face. “Of course. Right this way, please.”

Donghyuck all but jumps out of his seat to follow him, ignoring Doyoung and Jaehyun’s eyes boring into his back.

“Hyuck, you’re so fucking dumb,” Renjun murmurs under his breath, just loud enough for Donghyuck to hear.

“Come on, you love me,” He coos, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You do realize I’m working?”

“When does your shift end?” 

Renjun glances at his watch. It takes him a second to reply. “Four minutes.”

Donghyuck grins. “They won’t miss you for four minutes, will they?”

Renjun’s eyes burn brighter than the sun.

Donghyuck is stressed, worried, burdened, exhausted, and every synonym you could think of. All he wants is to go back home and relax, but he knows he can’t. The looming danger of failing exams next week would nip at his heels the whole way. As much as he hates it, he has to stay holed up in the library, for just a little longer. He chews on the tip of his pen, dread sitting in the pit of his stomach like a cold stone.

He runs a hand through his hair, exasperated, and stares hard at his laptop. The numbers swimming around on the screen stare back. It feels like if he stares at them long enough, they’ll jump out of the screen and eat him. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

“Hyuck,” Jaemin leans over the table, snapping his fingers in front of Donghyuck’s face, “you good?”

“You’ve just been staring at your laptop for the past 5 minutes,” Jeno says, like the two of them are doing any better.

Donghyuck throws down his pen and sighs, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “I need both help and coffee.”

Jaemin taps the side of his iced americano with his index finger. “Well—”

Donghyuck wrinkles his nose in distaste. “I don’t want your battery acid, thanks. It’s literally winter, why are you drinking it with ice?”

“Because I’m so hot,” Jaemin grins, taking a sip of the concoction himself. “Then what kind of help do you need? Mental help or homework help?”

“Bold of you to assume you could help him with either,” Jeno interjects.

Jaemin flips him off.

As Jeno and Jaemin continue to bicker, Donghyuck feels his brain figuratively-physically crumble. If he were to so much as sneeze, he thinks that what’s left of his brain would definitely come tumbling out. Again, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. Dropping out of university doesn’t seem so threatening anymore.

Completely out of nowhere, someone’s arm snakes around his shoulders and a soft pair of lips are pressed to his neck, gentle and feather-light. Donghyuck feels his heart involuntarily pick up.

“Hi,” Renjun smiles at him. His eyes are twinkling like fairy lights.

Donghyuck thinks idly that he doesn’t see stars in Renjun’s eyes, because Renjun is all of the stars. He sees Renjun in Renjun’s eyes. A universe full of nothing but Renjun. It doesn’t matter that there’s no ray of light pouring down on him or a halo floating daintily above his head, Donghyuck sees it anyways. In his eyes, Huang Renjun is the angel who came to save him from the monster that is his schoolwork, and he’s about to tell him so when he’s interrupted by a tiny gasp from said Renjun.

“You really don’t know how to do this? You’re dumber than I thought…”

Ah, he almost forgot. Renjun is a prick.

“Shut _up_, just help me!” Donghyuck pouts, earning nothing but a small chuckle from the other.

Renjun settles into the seat next to him and angles the laptop towards himself, scrolling through the questions noiselessly. He keeps his arm thrown loose around Donghyuck’s shoulders, and Donghyuck has come to appreciate the weight of it.

Donghyuck faces forward, resting his chin in the palm of his hand, but his gaze is entirely fixed on Renjun. He’s pretty like this, too, just sitting there, focused on the screen before him. It’s easy to admire the way his hair falls perfectly despite him making no effort to do so. The way the light hits his face just right, making his eyelashes look like delicate strands of gold. The smooth slope of his nose to his pink, pink lips.

But this time, Donghyuck has no desire to do anything, to invade. He’s okay with it like this, just observing Renjun and admiring, like a painting with a canvas made of sunlight.

Jaemin abruptly clears his throat, drawing their attention. (If Donghyuck is going to be honest, at Renjun’s arrival he’d forgotten Jeno and Jaemin were even there.)

“Okay, uh, when did…” Jeno gestures between the two of them, expression bewildered. “When did this happen?”

“When did what happen?” Donghyuck asks, blinking owlishly.

Pink seeps into Jeno’s cheeks, stammering a little bit before managing to ask, “When did you start dating?”

“Dating?” Donghyuck and Renjun echo in unison.

Dating. It feels unnatural on his tongue, something foreign and completely alien to him. Donghyuck had never even considered that before, not with Renjun of all people. Despite their comfort doing some things with each other that are often limited to couples, they’ve always been best friends, and he knows that neither of them intend to change that any time soon. He doesn’t know why he can’t stop thinking about it, like someone plastered it to the front of his brain.

He shifts around in his seat, feeling uncomfortable, as if there’s something he’s missing. But he controls his facial expression and covers it with false nonchalance, opting to watch his friends rather than speak. His tongue feels fat and fuzzy, and he probably couldn’t speak anyway.

As he watches Renjun continue to deny it, fighting alone against Jaemin and Jeno’s persistence, Donghyuck feels something drop from his chest to his stomach. 

_Dating Huang Renjun._

It was a slow, slow process, realizing after four years of friendship and a month after the library incident that he likes Renjun. It came like a blow to the stomach at two in the morning after not being able to sleep for god knows what reason. He’d been scrolling through Instagram, minding his own business, when he saw that Jaemin posted a picture he’d secretly taken of Renjun while they were at the mall captioned, “my love, injunnie” surrounded by green hearts.

Donghyuck wasn’t stupid, he knew what jealousy was. But he was stupid in the sense that he thought he was jealous because Renjun was his best friend and he hadn’t seen him in almost a week, when Jaemin had been hanging out with him that very day (or the day before, it _was_ two in the morning). Maybe that had been part of it, but he had no explanation for the way his chest ached when he realized how much it looked like a date.

It was only ten minutes later when he still couldn’t get it off his mind that the realization dawned on him in the form of wide eyes and a blank brain, and the first thing he did after this epiphany was slam his head into the wall. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do with his feelings, just wanted to pick them up and throw them into the garbage bin outside.

Not knowing how to deal with his conflicting emotions, he’d decided to avoid Renjun like the plague. Not that it was very hard, which was vaguely disappointing— it was so easy to pretend like Renjun had never existed that it’d felt like Renjun had wanted to avoid him first. He didn’t see him between classes, didn’t get any late night invitations to come over to play Smash Ultimate, got one text that simply asked if Donghyuck had seen his black USB. Just a few weeks ago, they would see each other or at least text each other almost every day. It was like a large, Renjun shaped hole had been punched square in his chest.

So when Renjun calls him and asks him to go get snacks with him exactly a week after Mission Avoid Renjun had begun (and, coincidentally, on the first day of spring), he’s sent into silent panic for about six seconds before Renjun asks if he died.

He wants to ask, _why now?_ It’s been so long since he’s contacted him, so why now? And Donghyuck knows that he’s being a hypocrite, because he hasn’t exactly been trying either. He knows that both of them have been stupid. The ‘I’ve missed you’ sits on the edge of his tongue, cutting deep in his flesh, threatening to spill out.

“I’m here,” he says instead.

A pause. “Is that a yes?”

_Sorry, I’m busy,_ he wants to say. _Next time._

He feels bad lying to Renjun, especially when it’s been so long since he heard his voice, especially when he’s missed him so much. But he needs more time to sort his feelings out bef— “Yeah, sure. I’ll be out in five.”

“Cool, see you,” and he hangs up.

Shit.

He should have known that this would happen, should have known that he is physically incapable of saying no to Huang Renjun. He should have been born a sea urchin, without a tongue to speak with. He’s an idiot.

It’s not as bad as he expected it to be, except simultaneously even worse than he expected it to be. They go to a local GS25, buy five snacks each and eat them all at the tables outside. It’s not bad because even after a little bit of time apart, nothing has changed. It’s what they always do, allowing Donghyuck the feeling of familiarity and comfort.

Then it’s worse _because_ nothing has changed and Renjun is as pretty as always, and Donghyuck has a hard time controlling his thoughts now— _very_ endearingly round eyes, soft-looking hands, lips softer-looking still. (He does actually sneak one kiss in, when he’s sure that there’s no one around, and although Renjun accepts it as he always does, it feels different this time. Like a dull, aching pain in his chest.)

After they finish eating, they walk. Donghyuck has no idea where they’re going, and he’d be willing to bet ten dollars that Renjun has no idea either. He appreciates the silence between them, although it’d usually be full of their bickering. When he’s not talking, it makes it that much easier to pretend his heart isn’t going haywire.

It’s Renjun who breaks the silence.

“Hyuck?” 

“Hm?”

His eyes flit between Donghyuck’s face and the leaf he’d caught in his hand. “You know I…” he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, dropping the leaf and rubbing the back of his neck. It looks like it’s taking all the effort in the world to speak. “I missed you.”

He can feel himself falling, harder and harder— he knew this was a bad idea. His heart squeezes and he hates feeling so vulnerable. “I missed you too.”

“Fuck, I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this,” Renjun mutters, briefly touching his knuckles to his bottom lip.

“Why are you acting so weird?” A lopsided grin makes its way onto his face, maybe smaller than it’d usually be. “Do you want money?’

“You have even less of it than I do.”

“Damn straight.”

“Go out with me.”

Donghyuck freezes in his tracks, nearly tripping on a crack in the road. His breath hitches in his throat.

The wind cards its fingers through Renjun’s hair as he looks back at Donghyuck, waiting patiently for an answer. His cheeks are rosy from the biting cold of early spring and the sky is a grey-ish blue, matching his new denim jacket. His eyes are amber in the light, almost orange, like the sunset. He’s so pretty. So, so pretty.

Huang Renjun.

Donghyuck rubs his eyes, not quite believing that this is real. When he opens his eyes and Renjun’s still there, his heart soars. “... Did… did you just ask me out?”

A hesitant smile tugs at the corner of Renjun’s mouth. “What do you think, dumbass?”

Fucking Huang Renjun.

Donghyuck feels his ears begin to sizzle with colour, not expecting this at all and certainly not expecting to be so flustered. “I— you, uh— wait?” He cuts himself off, scrambling to collect his thoughts. Pauses. “Okay.”

And then Renjun whirls around, dropping into a crouch and covering his face with his hands. A million question marks fill Donghyuck’s head.

“Renjun, what—”

“You took so fucking long to answer, I thought for sure you were going to reject me, oh my god,” Renjun mumbles, now clearly equally as flustered as Donghyuck. “Fuck you. Fuck you. I take it back, you broke my heart, I can’t date you, goodbye.”

The corners of Donghyuck’s mouth curl, completely involuntarily. He tears his gaze away from the tiny ball that is Renjun and tries to suppress it, pulling his lips in between his teeth. He only lasts the better of two seconds when he doubles over with laughter.

Renjun jerks his head to face him, “Are you laughing at me?!”

Donghyuck is laughing so hard he doesn’t even have the strength to answer. He staggers forward, dropping to his knees and throwing his arms around Renjun so roughly he nearly pushes the other boy over. He nuzzles his face into the crook of Renjun’s neck, biting back a smile when Renjun reciprocates the hug almost immediately. It’s warm and gentle like a duvet, different from the hugs— if he can even call them that— that he usually gets from Renjun. Melting snow. He likes this.

And finally, spring is here.

**Author's Note:**

> i’ve been reading too many fics where they go RENHYUCK..... lmao sike u thought they’re just very close friends!!!! && i realized that i’d never written a kiss scene before and wanted to practice thus this mess of a fic was born. i’m not satisfied with this fic but it’s better than nothing??? it’s just so all over the place + i wrote a majority of it half dead from sleep deprivation + it’s unbeta’d and probably full of gibberish BUT despite all that i’d really appreciate some constructive criticism if you have any! thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed <33  



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